Marriage Counselling

 

Last month a relative of mine and his wife from the gulf came to our house to invite us for their daughter’s wedding. Quickly arranged they said. They had also brought with them the bride for a ‘day’s counseling’. But I knew the proposal had been underway for some months. But they were a kind of proud to reveal that they got the license with just one day’s counseling. I listened patiently and smiling. But my mind was else where thinking about another friend of mine whose son got divorced after a few days of honey moon. After a gala wedding the couple had gone for their honey moon when the bride told his son that she was already married. There was no use of telling these people what I was thinking. They were very confident their daughter and the future son-in-law don’t need any ‘such thing’ as counseling. Last year a family friend’s son’s marriage lasted only one day when the very next day morning after the first night, the bride disclosed to the confused father and mother-in-laws “I am not good for your son” and phoned her father to pick her up! And to think my parents saw each other for the first time only after their wedding and they lived happily for 54 years and 8 days!!

 

Times have changed. Society has changed. Life style has changed. Our young have changed. But the truth is, the changes are not for any betterment. It would be worthwhile if we parents realize this. In this present day fast world, if marriage has to be successful the children has to be enlightened with the values and importance of husband wife relationship. A successful wedlock needs a lot of sacrifice, tolerance, give and take, understanding, patience, discipline and faith behind it. That can be achieved only if the children are brought in realization of these traits from their young age onwards. Start with Sunday school, choir and youth league. Don’t laugh these things off. Personally speaking I believe these were the three things that kept me going and held my faith and confidence when I was alone abroad for almost 30 years and in midst of chaos, depression and uncertainty. I myself was often very surprised how methodically I would go down on my knees and retain or gain my confidence. May be I and my wife were brought up that right way that we don’t think about divorce. Recently right next to our area an elderly couple in their sixties, with grand children, divorced! Please send your children to Sunday school, Choir, and Youth league. The ‘silent learning’ that gets embedded in the child’s mind has an 'invisible grip' over them till they die.

 

And don’t take your children's perfection for granted. Be scared always. I am writing this with my two grown up daughters in mind. Yes. I am scared. Scared to my bones.

dilipcherianpallath